ARE WE FULFILLING THE CHINESE CURSE?

     Ancient Chinese folklore has attributed the curse MAY YOU LIVE IN INTERESTING TIMES  to fictional story teller Kai Lung. The above statement is not bad but legend has it that, it is one of the three Chinese curses. I enjoin you to read this piece with an open mind otherwise, the points I am trying to make won’t get home.

       Any one in touch with reality will understand what I Am talking about when we say interesting times.  How many things do I talk about? I promise to touch as much as possible but ground rules; if I touch anything that offends your religious view, please forgive me.

       Some years ago, in Nigeria we all heard the case of the cannibal Clifford Orji who ate human beings in Lagos Nigeria.  Then I was too young to understand what cannibalism was all about. But as I grew older, I realized that it not only morally wrong, it was illegal as well.

      If that doesn’t strike you as a big deal, then let us get on to the next one. Some years ago, we were awakened to the realization that people now see those of the same sex as being sexually attractive. If I may ask, is that not sodomy? But free will overrides ethics and I think that is quite unfortunate. What pained me was that Africans who are known to be very cultured and principled began to accept it. It got so bad that it was a subject worth discussing at the national assembly. Can you imagine? In a country were so many things are wrong, our law makers ignored pressing issues and chose to talk about some profane imported sexual orientation. It can be likened to chasing rats while your house is on fire. Thank God that reason prevailed and the bill was not passed amidst several foreign threats.

       I was on the internet some days ago when I ran across an article on a girl suffering from a disorder called Pica. Wow!!!! Check it up in dictionary before you proceed. Done that? Then let’s go ahead. She had reportedly eaten about 4000 sponges and a thousand bar soaps. It is not a spell; we are told. The psychiatrist simply diagnosed it as a disorder. Sound funny yeah?  Because that is not your sister.

        Back to sexual orientations.  Zoophilia-that is sexual desire for animals has been legalized in the following American states. Alaska, Arizona, Colorado, Connecticut, Florida, Hawaii, Iowa, Kentucky. I am not exactly sure if this has been ‘’labeled’’ a disorder but am sure it is some form of malady. How can a person ever find an animal attractive? Sincerely, to say it beats my imagination is to say the least.

         Now the issue currently causing debate on the web is the case of the late Whitney Houston’s daughter Bobbi Kristina Brown who is set to marry her adopted brother Nick Gordon.  Really, who does that? That seems like incest to me but then again, in our ever changing world, impossible is nothing. Pleas and threats from their grandmother has fallen on deaf ears as they claim to be so much in love to quit at this stage.  I will keep my fingers crossed to see how this particular tale ends.

         I really wish to add much more issues but in order not to bore you, I felt this would suffice for now.  There are many things I left untouched. Issues like people practicing to become real vampires (I watched them on Tyra Banks’ show), Beyonce hiring six nannies to take care of ONE child and changing diaper every hour, Lady gaga wearing raw meat to an event where she hugged people and  Mrs. Arumah Oteh a public officer in Nigeria using eight hundred thousand to feed for a day, the list is endless and I could go on and on but most importantly, let me ask you; are we fulfilling the Chinese curse or is freewill  merely overriding reason?

                              PLAYING SUPPORTING ACTOR IN MY LIFE MOVIE
       I wish to use this piece to appreciate all parents in the world who like mine, have made diverse sacrifices for their kids in cash and otherwise.

       Once, i had this feeling that being a parent is something that comes with time. but folks, i have realised that it is really demanding when I bring a liitle being to this world; to a large extent, I become answerable to God about what becomes of him or her.
       I have to wake up every night to change diapers(yes, you read correctly),ensure the child is sleeping soundly and then up early in the morning to ensure that I have sufficient funds to cater for that little ''thing'' that kept me awake at night. then, gradually the teeth begin to show up and then I watch him take his first step and fall then cry, stand and fall and the cycle continues. the first word he would probably learn is ''mum'' but that is not fair, i pay the bills!!! lol.
     After about 6 months, my wife takes him to school to learn how to be equipped for tomorrow's world. He gets a chance to meet with newcomers to the world like himself. he plays, eats, poo, cry, watch donutman, comes home messy. ouch!!! thank God am not a woman.
     He grows into primary school, pick up few habits(hopefully gud ones), learn slangs, make friends, wants to buy anything his/her eyes sees.he plays childish pranks, gets told india was banned from playing football due to use of charms, gets told so many childhood myths........
     The child enters high school and begins to brave for advance calculations, comprehension, so many courses towards a better future. He begins to develop funny feelings about some girl, or perhaps, if she is a girl, maybe some guy thinks he likes her,. The body is growing and funny thoughts are growing as well..then she begins to play ''hide and seek'' with some guy which she will hide from my wife and I.
      She finally enters tertiary institution and she wants to go abroad. hmmm. I have no problem with that but my wife won't hear of that. she wants to keep her ''angel'' under her watch. she thinks masters abroad will suffice but Bsc must be done at home.
     she gets the Bsc and then some time later, she says blushingly ''daddy, he ...pro......posed and i said yes''........ wow! finally, my duty as a father is about to be graded cos how well she behaves at matrimony determines if my wife and I did our homework well.  have you notice that in majority of my son's life, I have a substantial role to play? it's like being the lead actor in his life story....that's just how it is. this sounds like fun doesn't it ? and .I feel like marrying.who doesn't??
          

                     

                        THEY TOLD US THE ANSWER

       Every Nigerian has been asked or has even asked himself this question ‘’ why is Nigeria where she is today?’’ some scholars have done theoretical works, some have presented papers while orators have spoken expending much wit yet they all failed woefully or so it seems. The question is why there is so much suffering and anguish amidst plenty or better still, why are we living near river Niger and bathing with spit?

      While I admit that I did not escape an ‘’f’’ in the Nigerian course, I must confess that I heaved a sigh of relief when on the 17^th of august 2011, two old men who had ruled us in the past for about twenty years between them decided to tell us the answer.

       We all thought corruption was the destructive worm that had held us to ransom. We had prayed about it, some even acted movies about it, while people like my humble self had debated on it times and again.

       Little did we know that the birthday celebration of Gen. Ibrahim Babangida would give rise to the long awaited answer. As expected, Babangida had held a feast to mark his 70^th birthday but what we didn’t expect was his speech. He decided to use the otherwise joyful occasion to take a jab at erstwhile president, Gen. Olusegun Obasanjo on lack of power supply in spite of the vast riches available to the government arising from crude oil export. He went further to claim that he could have done so much if he was the one in power.

      Obasanjo on hearing that, decided to remind everyone that he was lost for words because in chapter 26 of proverbs, verse 4, we are told ‘’not to answer a fool lest you be like unto him’’. Then again, the next verse says ‘’answer a fool according to his folly lest he be wise in his own eyes’’. He then concluded that Babangida was a fool at 70.    

     Babangida  did not deny his new identity. He simply drew our attention to the fact that Obasanjo was a higher ranking officer in that identity hierarchy. He implied that Obasanjo was a greater fool. These are people who had ruled this nation for about twenty years between them. They are in a better position than anyone else to explain why we are where we find ourselves.

      Now can you imagine a man at fifty who was foolish for about twenty years? How do you expect him to excel in his endeavours when the hair begins to turn grey? That is the Nigerian story. We have been told the real reason why we are where we are and any other proposition is merely theoretically birthed.

  To be continued………. 

                   IF A GIRL SCORES AN OWN GOAL…………….

       She was very beautiful. She was also very promising. She had enormous potentials. Every guy wanted her but she wanted to concentrate on her career.  Suddenly, one guy came her way and a human error occurred.

        The young man was definitely not ready to be addressed as ‘’dad’’.  Now here is my point. Why should a promising girl who scores an own goal think that is the end for her? At that point she can neither concentrate in school nor at work.  This more often than not leads to a lose-lose situation. Why does our society make ladies think they need a man before they can stand? It is quite amazing considering that these ladies were once well grounded before the guys begin to show up.

        If a girl who knows where she is going incidentally  ''puts the ball at the back of her own net'', she should pick herself up and forge forward. Like my pastor says ‘’those who have a head, look ahead’’. Cos really, there is no need trying when the head is off. But thank goodness, in this case the head is not off.

        To him that is living there is hope remember????   

                                     

                                                     DADDY, ARE YOU SURE..............?

           I am in a class now and every student or so it seems is uninterested in the ongoing lecture. Not because it is boring; though it is but because the lecturer is not audible enough.

           At my right side are my buddies who are deeply engrossed discussing business and at my left, is a colleague who is nursing a female item he brought to class. Just in front of me is a boy holding a girl’s bracelet while she laughs and chats with another girl. My humble self is busy putting up this article.

            Now imagine that the scene depicted above is snapped and printed. Then present it in ten years time when we would have all become parents. Then, we would probably be scolding our kids that they should be more attentive in class forgetting that we were once guilty of the same charge.

             Everyone seated in class today is liable for the half a million Naira investment made by our respective parents. I am very sure that such huge sums could have been put to other profitable ventures but our parents did not want to see us sit at home.

            Some dads would be bragging to their friends that ‘’my daughter is in covenant university, am sure she is in the lecture room right now’’. But quite frankly, what is she doing in the lecture room?

            ‘’yes, there is network’’ came a joyful outburst from a beautiful lady adjacent my seat with a laptop on her desk. Now can you imagine? In a three unit course lecture? But sincerely, I am interested in checking what is happening on the web than strain my ear muscles.   

              After all said and done, I have come to the conclusion that certain classes are really wasted efforts and everyone will go through them at one point or the other but no one will admit same.

               If only daddy knew.  But one thing is sure. He will never find out. To this end, I pity all dads!!!!!